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A Guide to Spending Time With a New Mother and Her Baby

A Guide to Spending Time With a New Mother and Her Baby

By: Vinoth Chandar

Someone close to you has given birth, and you simply can’t wait to see her and congratulate her. Of course, you also want to see the baby and get in a few snuggles as well. You have to refrain yourself from heading over to the hospital as soon as you hear the news, because you know she is exhausted and doesn’t feel like “entertaining” at the moment. However, you know you have to see her soon, and you are really looking forward to getting a chance to know the baby.

That’s a familiar script for many women, as we all go through that process at one time or another. However, if you are going to head over right away, there are a few guidelines that you need to follow.

1. Bring a Present

It doesn’t matter how many showers you have gone to, you should take a present with you when you visit your friend. You can check her registry to see what is left and choose something for that or go and pick something from Silver and Pewter Gifts for inspired gifts. Don’t worry about spending a lot of money; even small items, like pacifiers or on-the-go bottle wipes, are appreciated. If you can’t think of anything to bring, just pick up a small pack of diapers because you know she will use them.

2. Bring Nourishment

Find out what her favourite food is (if you don’t already know) and bring it to the new mother when you visit. Bring extras so she doesn’t have to think about dinner, either. Protein is always a good idea because it will help to keep the new mother’s strength up during what is sure to be an exhausting time. It is best to pick up the food, rather than make it unless you are certain that your friend likes your cooking. Keep in mind that you want this to be a treat for her because she likely isn’t able to get out to a restaurant at the moment.

3. Be Helpful

Even if your friend is the type of person that doesn’t accept help very easily, she will need assistance in the days and weeks after the birth. There is a lot going on, so anything you can do to help will make a big difference.

4. Clean

Check the sink when you get to the house. Are dishes or bottles piling up? Take care of them for the new mother. Run the dishwasher if necessary. Vague offers of “How can I help?” generally won’t get you very far. Instead, take action because your friend may be reluctant to ask for help.

5. Fold

There’s probably a lot of laundry in the house, as small babies can go through a staggering amount of clothing. Fold it and put it away for your friend. Even if you don’t know where the clothes go, you can at least get them organised.

6. Go the Extra Mile

When I gave birth, I had a friend that brought me my favourite meal and a new little outfit for the baby. She also messaged me before coming to see if there was anything that I needed. We were low on wipes, so her offer came at the perfect time. After chatting with me for a bit, she cleaned up my sink, which I really appreciated because my mobility was limited (I had stitches). She didn’t take no for an answer and was really helpful the entire time that she was “visiting.”

7. Don’t Be an Inconvenience

Do not head over to your friend’s house and just sit and stare at them empty-handed. The new mother should not be expected to entertain you. She’s likely exhausted and giving all her free time to this new little person. Take action and do what needs to be done. Don’t just show up, hold the baby and expect your friend to carry on a lively conversation with you. Instead, come bearing gifts and help in any way that you can.

If you haven’t acted properly with your friends before, you don’t need to worry. You can still change your ways. Do better with those that are getting ready to have a baby. Follow the guidelines in this article so that you can make their lives just a little bit easier. They will remember your kindness.

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